Asking yourself the tough questions. Getting real.
Have you ever woke up in the morning and asked yourself what you’re doing with your life? Or gone to bed exhausted after a long day and asked yourself what the point of your day was?
Are you working at a job you think is meaningless and pointless to your existence, except to keep you alive for the next day of work? Or does your hard work and efforts go unacknowledged?
Are you spending your time doing things that leave you feeling unfulfilled and have you asking yourself if you deserve to be doing something better?
Do you feel like you’re missing out on the finer things you could be doing with your life?
Every day people do what they don’t want to do, and are miserable in the process. People work to exhaustion to pay the bills, day in and day out just to survive so they can go to work again. Living to work. Others suffer through their work, even though they may love what they do, they go through torture by working with people who are disrespectful.
Maybe you’re working at a job that feels meaningless, or you come home from work depressed, wishing for something better asking yourself why you are torturing yourself. Maybe you feel like there is no hope for climbing the ladder and reaching success.
If you’re thinking like this about your current situation, you’re not alone. There are literally millions of people who are doing things they don’t want to do. Sometimes it’s necessary. After all. You have to eat. Maybe you even have others to feed too! We all have responsibilities.
I’ve been there, I know what it’s like. I know how hard it is to make yourself go through the motions just to see the paycheck at the end of the week yet it’s not enough to get out of that vicious cycle. You’re stuck in an unhappy place.
But if you’re thinking about your life or your job like it’s torturous or meaningless it might be time to take a step back and evaluate how your life experiences reflects how you think about yourself. Maybe your current situation is the perfect opportunity for you to get real about what you really think you are deserving of. If you don’t feel good about what you’re doing, there’s a message in there somewhere showing you that you deserve more than you’re allowing into your life.
Getting back to you
If you are spiraling into depression about your job, or you’re complaining a lot about what you do, right now is as good a time as any for you to stop that and start something different. In fact it may be the perfect opportunity to take a deep breath and get real with yourself. Sometimes it takes looking deep into your own eyes in the mirror to see who you really are. Sometimes it takes a few tears. Sometimes we forget who we are, because we’re so busy doing all those external things. Nowadays many of us are forgetting who we are by being on the computer all day long either working or being hooked into the system. So many people are missing out on the finer things in life because we get stuck in a routine.
Take a break. Go for a walk. Get away. You know, a lot of people smoke to get those 5 minutes of deep breathing and an opportunity to step away and be with themselves for a moment. We all know though, there are much healthier ways to self reflect and get away, even if only for a brief moment to have “me” time. Me time is important time, take the opportunities. Enjoy nature for a while.
Purpose. What’s right for you.
There is value in all jobs in society, we all have a place to offer our abilities and to give back to others, to make a difference. If everyone were stars, if everyone were painters, musicians, doctors, lawyers and all those careers the west promotes as the highlight of la purposeful career life, we realistically wouldn’t be able to sustain a balanced livelihood. We need a variety of skills and talents in the world, where everyone has their place in contributing their uniqueness, making for nearly endless opportunities and choices.
But sometimes people feel like they aren’t contributing to your ability, potential or desire.
If you want a fulfilling job that makes you feel like you’re thriving, the best place to start from is getting real with yourself and pinpointing what you would really love to do. This is sometimes easier said than done. Maybe you feel like your skills aren’t where they ought to be to get you to that dream place of comfort and thriving passionately about your job and life. Maybe you’ve worked so hard, day in and day out, hour after hour and there’s no end in sight to a better experience of your life, or maybe it’s so far away you feel like giving up.
Everyone has their place and every job has it’s point of purpose, but if you’re not satisfied with what you’re doing, you can change things. Whatever it is that is keeping you from getting real with yourself and getting grounded in living to your potential, you can make the choice to stop the cycle, at least for a minute to take a step back and evaluate where you are and where you’re going. Nobody said it would be easy to get real with yourself, but if you want to change things, you are going to have to.
Sincerely ask yourself why you are doing what you do. Really, what is the deepest, core truth of why you are where you are? How did you get there? How did your choices create your experience? If what you are doing is not to your potential, or to your desires of what you would like, why? (See external factors and you below).
Many times when we are limiting our reach to get to where we want to go, it has a lot to do with deep rooted fears. Fears that have us scared to take an active role in changing our lives. Sometimes the fear of failure keeps us from acting. Procrastination and laziness can frequently be the result of our internal fears and in turn, emphasize them.
You may be scared to pick up that instrument and get better. You may be afraid to start that new business, or take a chance changing careers. There are countless things we don’t do in life because of our fears.
Getting where you want starts with a desire. It’s the cause of your desire that’s important. It says more about who you really are than anything.
Love your Work
These days it seems everyone wants to be a star, to be famous, at least at a young age it’s a major cultural focus imprinted on us through MTV and the desire to live a glamorous fun life. This is a product of our culture and reflects an emotional, egotistical need to be recognized, acknowledged for who we are and what we have to offer. There’s nothing wrong with being recognized for your abilities, but when people desire recognition, fame and fortune for the sake of their ego’s you know there is something deeper missing, something that needs to be filled.
The people who get places, are the people who focus on what they want and make it happen. Unfortunately, many people want what they perceive to be success but aren’t willing to do the work necessary to get there. People also have a very narrow scope of what success is, thinking it is only the high profile careers. Think outside that narrow scope. Think about what really would bring you joy. It could be as simple as working around friendly people every day caring for plants. It could be working your way to seeing the world from space by becoming an astronaut. The range is limited only by your real passion for enjoying what you do.
When people do what they love, everything changes. Work becomes play, but you still have to do the work. In the physical world, action is necessary. Thoughts are important, but they aren’t everything. They are the springboard for action. Action is required to see any results come to fruition. Thoughts are the roots that lead to the results.
Wishing for something doesn’t make it so. There’s a process, and you have to take charge.
Changing the Cycle
It can be so much easier to go back to the way things are, but then nothing changes, and the same complaints and feelings you have now, might still be there in 10 years, even more. If you are in the same place now that you were 10 years ago, complaining about where you aren’t, you know you’re stagnant. If you’re stuck in a cycle, you are likely to also be stuck in a pattern of thinking. That pattern of thinking is about how you see yourself and what you believe about yourself. Not only about your work, how much you dislike it but you may also be stuck in a pattern of complaining, or other negative forms of viewing your reality.
If you are, remember you’re going nowhere thinking like this about your current situation, unless you use those complaints to start analyzing yourself and finding out why you are allowing yourself to continue the experience that leads to those complaints. Believe me, many people love to complain more than they really want to change their lives and situations. Complaining can only make it worse by feeding the situation through throwing your potentially good energy after bad. In the end… you’re exhausted and in the same place. So use the negativity to do the opposite. Use the negativity to be a sign post to transforming the pattern. Transforming the pattern will change your experience.
There is opportunity here for you to have self realizations that are worthwhile. It’s time to make a change. The change starts with you, right now. Use it to recognize your values, and your self worth, but don’t dwell on what isn’t. Focus on what is possible.
It starts with acknowledging those feelings you’re having that are off. Turning them around, and getting real with yourself about how you got to where you are now, to this place that feels dissatisfying, without blaming others, and keeping the focus on you and what you can do.
External factors and your potential
Sure there are external factors that influence our lives. The world and our experiences are an interconnected web, a dance of actions and reactions. Of course, not everything is in our control. The world goes on doing it’s thing and you’re part of the process. It’s sometimes silly to think about our lives as being fully in our control, that’s called solipsism, and we aren’t alone in this world, we are in it together. So yes, others affect you, as much as you affect others, and that’s where we can sometimes make it easier to blame others for what’s going on in our lives.
You however, have the most potential in creating self change by your reactions to external influences and changing your actions and what you focus on and apply your attention to.
Without blaming others, the only way you can change your life, and change your perspective of your life is through you. Blaming others takes the focus off you, and in that kind of process you lose out on the opportunity of really changing yourself and your life experience. After all is said and done, it’s you who can be the one to make things go in the direction you want. Others can’t do it for you. But if you start blaming yourself, that’s no better. Put blame to the side. Blame focuses on the past. Forget about that. Start thinking about now. What you think, here and now is what makes the difference. There really is no way to change the past, except your perception and relation to it. Use it as a positive tool to know yourself better.
You have the potential, you need to work on recognizing you have it within you to take steps towards what you envision will bring you joy. Don’t focus on the rewards, like money and vacations, and all those extra’s, focus on what would make you feel good to do. What can you contribute that would make you feel good about yourself?
What is now
You want to get to a more positive place, start seeing the positive in the now. Take away all those layers of negativity, strip them away, and see the opportunity in all that is happening provides you with. Dwelling on those external factors outside your control won’t create change. What creates change is your reaction. A good friend once said to me, many years ago, “It’s not where you are going, it’s where you’re coming from that matters”. Those words are transformational. Become responsible for our own point of view and what you do with it.
In terms of your job or career, it’s not about what you’re doing, it’s about how you do it. No matter what you do, do it with a good attitude. It will change everything, and it will change you. A stepping stone to a new you, and potentially a new career you’ll thrive in. It starts with your attitude.
When you’re doing what you may label as the “grunt work” to survive, remember it doesn’t always have to be that way, and when it is that way, it doesn’t have to make you miserable.
Doing your best. When you do your best it becomes about you, and not about the status of the job. It becomes about who you are in the process of whatever you do. That’s significant, and that changes the whole game.
Love the simple things
Loving the simple, everyday things, will reflect in loving where you’re at now, and loving who you are. Ultimately it’s about loving yourself and loving others that matters in life. When you start to do that, your on the road to personal success in every moment, which paves a path you can feel good about walking on. This road branches out in directions you never thought possible because when you change your perspective you change your opportunities.
Don’t hate to do the dishes because it has to be done. Feel good when you’re doing the dishes. Enjoy the warmth on your hands, the blessing to have enough water to do the dishes with, not just drink it to live. When it’s raining, but you want it to be sunny, be grateful you have so much water in your life, you have so much more than you require to drink. It may not change the external situation, but it puts things in perspective. When you’re cleaning up the mess after your partner, be grateful you have someone in your life you can feed and love. Find the positive in the situation. If it’s difficult to find the positive at least look at how it provides you an opportunity to see who you are, your fears, judgments, opinions. Get to know yourself better. After all, one of the most important parts of life is getting to know who You are.
More self awareness, is the precursor to doing what you love.
Really ask yourself the tough questions. Get real with yourself. Take time for yourself to get to know who you are and what you really want in life. Acknowledge your fears and all the things that keep you from being proactive in creating the results you want. Turn your negative thoughts into catalysts for self awareness. Love the simple things in life and you’ll notice your perspective changing about others and yourself. Enjoy nature, get in touch with the real you, not the idea of what you think you should be or do.
Nobody said it would be easy to do what you love. There can be just as many tears and hard work in doing what you love than doing what you don’t love. The difference is, you feel a sense of satisfaction after all that sweat and time devoted to feeling fulfilled. You also get much clearer about who you really are, what you want, what you’re deserving of and what you define as your self worth in the process towards finding what you love to do.
When you do what you love you feel a sense of satisfaction. Like you’re on purpose. Don’t work just for the money, that’s asking for a treacherous battle in survival mode. After all money is necessary these days.
Not everything brings in a lot of money, but if you’re happy in the process let it be. Love it for what it is. Work at what you love and the money will show up, sometimes it takes a while, but it will.
If you didn’t need the money, what could you do every day and love doing it without getting paid. Now brainstorm opportunities out there that will pay you for doing something that would allow you to be passionate about it.
A lot of times, opportunities in life show up that we hadn’t expected. Our desires change too. People change careers many times in life, and find out more about who they are in the process. You may have an idea of what you’d like to do, but one day you may find that there is something completely different you hadn’t expected that you absolutely are head over heals for. Trust the process of life.
Be kind to others and yourself. Find things to love about everyday life, the people you meet, the things you do, and you’ll notice yourself feeling more authentic to your purpose. It will reveal itself and in the process you’ll blossom.
Take a moment to go outside and reflect on nature and your place in the bigger picture, bigger than any of your own ideas of what you should be doing. You’ll find yourself in time.